I believe this should be said. Some of us think this way, but few are willing to express their ideas about how they wish to interact with other people.
This generally applies to friends or family, but is equally useful with more casual acquaintances.
First, Let’s not get caught up in what you think of me and neither should you care what I think about you. I’ve been called just about every negative name in English and a few words in Spanish & French that weren’t all that complimentary. I don’t shrink, melt or run away because this is going to happen, to all of us. There’s nothing to be ashamed of or a need for a crying towel. We all need to get over what others think and move on. It’s been my belief for quite a while, people don’t need to agree on everything to get along. I’m quite comfortable with people who see the world differently than I and have expressed this to me.
Second, If I say something that offends you, chances are I didn’t despite your preconceived notions or assumptions. I make it clear if I don’t like something or someone, I can do it without you having to read between the lines. If you think you’re clever enough to interpret what I say different from I intend, you’re either disturbed about a lot of nothing, or you can read into my mind beyond what I’m able to think on my own. I might as well hand you a whole dictionary to find words and phrases that offend. If you find yourself frequently offended by what others do or say, you need to get over it. The world doesn’t revolve around you no matter how bright you are or how much sunshine and flowers you think you possess.
Third, in case you couldn’t guess, I speak my mind. Which would you rather have as a friend or associate, someone who tells you one thing to your face and then bad mouths you behind your back, or someone who is willing to tell you their opinion without lying to you? Many people say they prefer the latter kind of friend, employee or associate, but sometimes speaking the truth and hearing it is painful. I don’t talk down to you, or think you’re beneath me, I’m communicating with you and many don’t understand the difference, even if they believe they do. Many say they dislike politicians because they’re always trying to find a delicate way of saying just about nothing.
Fourth, I’m going to live where I want, with whomever I want, for as long as I want without the need for anyone’s approval. If your friendship or love is conditional based on me behaving, talking, believing, worshiping, following or living by your rules, then you’ve got the wrong person. It’s been this way ever since I became a responsible adult. I’ve made many decisions including, my military service, the people I became friends with, the women I’ve loved, the places I’ve lived, the employment I’ve had, the bike(s) I ride, that’s all on me. Anyone who consulted with me can’t be responsible for my choices, nor do they suffer anything now because of my decisions. These were my choices, and I will continue through the rest of my life that way.
Fifth, Chances are, to a good many people I know, I’ve said I either like them or I love them. Those weren’t empty words I chose to use, I meant it. If I complimented you, it wasn’t because I wanted something in return, I don’t work that way. Plain speaking means you tell people you care about them and are willing to show it through behavior as well. I start out with respect for everyone to a moderate degree, they either earn more or show they deserve less. I think everyone deserves to be treated decently but some people go out of their way to show you otherwise.
I think there’s no benefit having numerous fair weather or virtual friends or pretend family association. I hope you go out and live your life to the fullest and not be overly concerned what someone you know thinks of you or you feel a need to do what others expect of you.
Independent thought and action isn’t acquired through a poll, saying just the right words, sharing opinions to be popular, riding an approved brand of motorcycle, being seen in an expensive car, getting a tattoo or adding to your existing collection, it’s the way you live. I live by the things I understand to be true. I don’t feel the need to be approved by others or remain static in thought or action.