I’ve been a romantic for as long as I can recall. It started when I read about a boy who became very fond of a girl until they went to a school picnic. There he found this girl with the curl who held his heart-strings so tight become instant dross once he saw her eat. The clouds parted and the heavens opened and as suddenly as he had fallen for this girl, her table manners destroyed all illusion and he was back to being a boy with a sling shot and dirt on his knees.
Such has been the case for me over the years having married and divorced (twice) and finding the love of my life could care less about what the boy with the sling shot thought, she was going to eat her sandwich. Of course all this is abstract and an illusion but I think it illustrates why so many boys and girls grow up thinking they are going to meet that special someone, the ‘soul mate’ and they wed and spend a king’s ransom on the celebratory nuptials only to find out later the other partner has feet of clay just as they do. Perhaps its the naivete of the culture in which we live. The movies we often see are fantasy, the music listened to often is filled with the words of love or disconnect from a break-up.
No where in the English language do the words ‘I do’ right after ‘until death do you …. ‘ have less permanency. I have also been called a pessimist by friends and some of my family when I pronounce the whole idea of marriage is but a fantasy to be fulfilled by those with inordinate gifts of patience, forgiveness and willingness to change into someone better than before. For those that insist their own individuality and recognition is paramount and why doesn’t that silly fool I’m married to see it that way? You are doomed from the start.
Still, I appreciate a well versed romantic song when I hear it. I share this one sung by several over the years. ne me quitte pas / if you go away performed by Scott Walker